I was sitting on the sofa in my parents' house, wrapped up warmly in a blanket, holding a cup of steaming hot chocolate in my hands. I watched intently as the pink and white foamy marshmallows melted into sticky goop on top of my drink, before taking a sip. Mmmm, just the way I liked it.
As I drank, I thought about everything. Steering clear of Ashley, my thoughts gravitated towards the band I was in, Black Veil Brides. We weren't big, it was just me, Ashley, Chris Hollywood, Sandra Alva (my best friend) and David Pan. Well, it had been, anyway...
I heard the door open and looked up as mom entered the room, smiling tiredly at me. She had deep bags under her eyes, bright blue exactly like my own, which held a look of affection in them.
"Mom...you OK?" I asked, softly. Ever since I moved back in with them, my mom had been working over-time to accomodate me. I'd told her I was fine; I could make dinner and snacks for myself- she didn't need to worry about me. But my mom was never one to listen. She found excuses to help.
My back always ached, so she gave me backrubs, and fixed me warm heatstrips which felt like heaven. She made me food, and refused blatantly to allow me to get up, because she knew that I was having trouble supporting the baby's weight.
"I'm fine, honey," she said, kissing my head like I was a child again. I took another drink of my hot chocolate. "How's junior?" She asked, resting a hand momentarily on my bump. I didn't like it when people touched it- that was Ashley's job and his alone.
Mom caught the far-away look in my eye, and sighed. "Thinking about him, again?" She sat down beside me, letting me rest my head on her comfortable shoulder. Pulling the blanket over us both, she curled up beside me like I was a kid who'd had a bad nightmare again.
Mom smiled sadly. "It's OK, Andy. You love him."
"I shouldn't..." I replied, biting my lip as I let out what I'd been thinking about the whole month since moving out. "That's just it. After everything he's done, I should hate his guts! I should- I should have stopped loving him a long, long time ago!"
"Honey, if love worked like that, the world would be a great place." She always knew just what to say. How to make me happier, how to make me laugh. She truely was my rock right now. My replacement rock...
I sniffed, wiping my eyes. I didn't want to start crying, again- I'd wasted too many tears on him. Oh shit, here we go again...Hormones, you are a bitch. "I-I mi-miss his s-so mu-uch!" I cried, the sentence breaking in several places.
"Shhhhh...it's all going to be OK."
"Promise?" I asked. It made me sound like a five year old, again, but mom just sighed, again.
"I wish I could promise you that," she said. "I really wish I could."
I nuzzled back into her, pulling the blanket up tighter. "Mom...why are you so nice to me?" I asked quietly, my voice muffled by her shoulder.
She tensed. "What do you mean? You're my son!"
I bit my lip, looking away. "B-but...I'm a failure. I'm eighteen years old, in a garage band that isn't going anywhere- Chris and David quit when I told them about the baby. Sandra's decided she's got to go her own way in music, so she's gone, too. I can't do anything right. I'm just a pathetic faggot."
"Don't you dare say that! Ever!" I flinched at the coldness and intensity in her voice. "You've got so much, Andy. You have a baby! You have a family who love you! You have a beautiful voice, and you need to let people hear it! Never give in, honey. Never."
Never Give In... I smiled, gratefully. "Thanks, mom." I was touched, her speech had made me realize that I had to be strong. For me, for my baby, for my family. I was loved, I was needed.
"Now...are you going to sing for your tired mother?" She asked, eagerly. I don't know why, but she seemed to actually like my voice. Strange woman, I didn't think it was anything special. Now...what to sing? Billy Idol was her favorite- I knew this because she'd played The Wedding Singer continuously through-out my childhood, just for the aeroplane scene. Plus, she had all his records and tapes.
I started singing Rebel Yell, softly. Mom grinned, widely, encouraging me to sing louder. She hummed the song as I barelled through the lyrics, hitting each note perfectly. When I'd finished, I heard clapping.
Looking up, I saw my dad enter the room flanked by two men. All three of them were clapping, the two men looking shocked. Both had long black hair, like my own, and one held a guitar case, while the other clutched a pair of drumsticks. My dad was a talent scout for Lava Records, always on the lookout for up-and-coming-bands. Guess these guys were good.
"You have a great voice, man, though it sounds familiar..." one of them said.
"Yeah, seriously, dude. Wow," the other agreed.
"Thanks," I smiled warmly.
"Amy, Andy, this is Jeremy and Christian-"
"Jinxx and CC!" They interrupted, sounding peeved. My dad was awful with names, so this must be a regular occurence.
"-and they're musicians. The best. I brought them back here to talk about the prospect of holding auditions for other band members. These guys have promise."
"Are they staying for dinner?" Mom asked, kindly.
"We don't want to intrude," CC said.
"No! I insist!" Mom said, getting up. She kissed my forehead, before dragging my dad into the kitchen. They always cooked together. I don't know why, but I found it cute. "Dinner'll be ready in an hour!" The kitchen door slammed shut behind them, and I wrapped the excess blanket around me.
"So...you're Andy, right?" Jinxx said after a moment of silence. He took a seat on the sofa opposite me, while CC sat on the armchair.
"Yeah," I nodded. "And you're Jinxx." I said, remembering what he'd said to my dad moments before.
"Someone remembers!" He grinned, as if he'd won something. "You sing really well."
"Thanks," I smiled. "I was in a band- am in a band, but we've gone downhill so..."
"Oh...that sucks," CC said, leaning forward in his seat. "What band were you in?"
"Black Veil Brides...we weren't very big, but-"
"Ohmygod, seriously? You're Andy Six?" Jinxx cut me off, eyes wide. When I nodded, he continued, "I went to one of your first gigs in 2006...you guys went silent a year or so ago, though...did you split up?"
"I-...no..." I blushed, looking at the ground. "I'd tell you, but...I really don't want to be called names in my own home."
"Hate?" CC asked, looking confused.
I sighed, pulling the blanket off my body. My stomach, even covered by a large t-shirt, was still visibly large. I peered through my bangs up at the men, waiting to see their reactions. What would they do?
Jinxx sucked in a breath. "Is that...are you...?" He trailed off.
"Yeah..." I nodded, understanding that he meant 'are you pregnant'?
"Is it Ashley Purdy's?" Oh, he really was a fan. Or he'd seen the many tabloids covering our so-called 'perfect relationship' over the past two years, at least one every couple of months.
"Yep." I flinched at the name of my (ex?)lover.Both men were silent for a moment, and I shifted uncomfortably, pulling the blanket back in place. At least there wasn't names or hate. CC coughed, awkwardly. "Then...where's Ashley?" he asked. I knew he didn't mean it in a bad way, he was just curious.
"I...he...cheated..." I blurted out, crying again. "Stupid fucking hormones..." Immediately, I was being wrapped into a hug by them both. I froze, before relaxing into their grip. They both smelled of leather and lynx, and they were warm. Plus, I really needed a hug right now.
"Do you want me to get your mom?" CC asked, pulling away.
"No...I bother her enough. It's my fault..."
"What's your fault?" Jinxx asked, an eyebrow raised.
"I went and got pregnant. I'm only eighteen! It's not right!"
"You're eighteen?" CC gasped.
"...Yeah, why?" I sniffed, raising an eyebrow.
"Cause your voice is really deep...you're really tall...I thought you were, like, twenty-five," he admitted. I burst out laughing, followed closely by Jinxx.
"It ruined the band, though," I said, after a full five minutes of non-stop laughing, guesturing to my stomach.
"How so?" Jinxx asked, sitting down on one side of me, while CC sat on the other.
"Our guitarists David and Chris left. So did Sandra, but that was to 'pursue other music styles' or something. Ashley's the bassist to that makes it awkward, and I'm nine-months-gone singer," I explained.
Jinxx's eyes lit up as if he'd thought of an idea, but CC spoke first, "dude, you're nine months pregnant? Couldn't the baby come at, like, any minute now?"
"Theoretically speaking, yes, but the chances of that-" I paused as a strange feeling passed through me, and my boxers became soaked. "...I think I might have Jinxed that..."
"What makes you think that?"
A wave of pain shot through me, making me gasp. OUCH! Fucking contractions. "Get...my mom...now!" I panted, trying to breath through the agony.
"SHIT! MRS BIERSACK!" CC yelled, running through to the kitchen. Jinxx took hold of my hand, gripping it, tightly. I smiled, gratefully.
Mom and dad came running through a moment later, CC following closely behind.
"Andy!" Mom gasped. "Someone, call an ambulance."
"On it," dad said, taking out his iPhone. "Can I get an ambulance, please? My son's in labour!" There's something you don't hear everyday. I laughed, weakly.
She gripped my other hand. "Yes, honey?"
Any sane person would have questioned why I wanted to bring the man who'd cheated on me, stomped on my heart and burned the pieces, to my side. But my mom just looked me right in the eyes, as if searching for something. I think she found it, because she nodded.
Ashley sat by himself in the apartment he'd once shared with Andy. He'd been sober and sex-free since his lover had left, choosing instead to sit and stare blankly at the TV, feeling empty.
He couldn't count how many times he'd cried since that night, and Ashley Purdy never cried.
"I'm such an idiot," he muttered, as he had done countless times in the past month, staring at one of the pictures of Andy that was placed opposite him. Words couldn't describe how much pain he felt...he missed his lover so much.
The silence was broken as the shrill ring of his phone pierced the air. Ashley checked the caller ID and frowned. It was Andy's mom. What did she want?
Deciding to answer, he spoke, "hello?"
"Ashley, Andy's in labour-" she was cut off for a moment as Andy's screaming could be heard in the background. It broke his heart "-if you still want him, then you will get your sorry ass to the hospital right now." Then she hung up.
"Holy shit..." Ashley breathed. He knew what he had to do. Grabbing his car keys, he ran straight out the door. Andy needed him, and he was not going to fail him now.
"Ahhhh!" I screamed as another contraction shot through me. THIS WAS FUCKING PAINFUL! Mom gripped my hand, tightly. "M-mom...this h-hurts..."
"I know, sweetie, I know," she said, sadly. I'd been pushing for over an hour, now, and was already exhausted.
Dad was in the waiting room with CC and Jinxx...I couldn't believe they were actually staying...they seemed like really good friends.
"Andy?" I looked up and my eyes widened. Ashley came...he looked as tired as I felt, bags under his eyes, hair pulled back into a messy pony tail, jogging bottoms and a superman hoody three sizes too big...still as gorgeous as always, though.
Forgetting everything else, in that moment, I held my hand out and whimpered. "P-please..." He looked shocked, but immediately rushed over and sat beside me, grabbing my hand.
Mom got up. "Good luck," she said, softly, and left.
"AHHH!" I screamed again, louder this time. Ashley kissed my forehead, whispering reassurances in my ear. God, I missed him...
The midwife was trying to tell me what to do, but I wasn't listening.
"Push!" She said. "I can see its head!"
I gasped, feeling the baby leave my body. Collapsing against the bed, I started breathing deeply, trying to slow my erratic pulse. Everywhere hurt. I was so fucking tired. My body covered in a thin coat of sweat.
"Would you like to hold your baby?" She asked.
I nodded, and was passed a small bundle wrapped in blankets. My eyes widened as I saw his face, tiny, pink and perfect. A small tuft of dirty blonde hair sat attop his head, and he slowly opened his eyes, looking up at me with honey-brown orbs.
I glanced at Ashley, and saw his facing away from me, tears rolling down his cheeks. Oh...I had a choice here. I bit my lip, then sighed.
"Ashley," I whispered. His head immediately shot up, and he looked at me, but avoided eye contact. "He...he had your eyes, Ash."
His eyes widened, and he looked at me, fully. I nodded, smiling. Tears mimicking his own ran down my face. "Really?" He asked.
"Look..." I passed the baby to him, and Ashley took him, inspecting every little detail of his face, while I watched Ashley's.
Ashley's face was lit up, eyes bright with adoration. He was already in love with his son.
The midwife took him away to be cleaned, and Ashley turned back to me. "Andy...I'm so, so sorry. I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I'll never stop loving you. Am I at least allowed to visit Rebel?" This was the name we'd chosen for if it was a boy. Hey, if Gerard Way can call his baby Bandit, I can call mine Rebel.
"No..." I said. Ashley's face shattered. "You can't visit him, because you'll be living with him. And me."
"Andy...are you saying...?" He trailed off, eyes wide with hope.
"I'm saying that I love you. Don't screw this up, Ashley." Our lips connected, and I hoped that he wouldn't screw it up, like I told him not to.
Also, Black Veil Brides started up again. A band of brothers. Jinxx, Rebel's godfather, became Rhythm guitarist. He was incredibly protective over me, and told Ashley that if he ever cheated again, he was dead. He became engaged to a friend of mine from a modelling agency I'd been in, who was also in an up-and-coming-band, called Sammi Doll. Cutest. Couple. Ever. He's the over-protective big brother.
CC became drummer. He was as crazy as a five year old, and we all took it in turns to sort out the aftermath of his shenanigans, while he kept Rebel amused. He's single right now, but has a thing for gingers...and I just so happen to know a hot ginger...winkwink. He's the slightly-retarded-but-lovable little brother.
Jake, yes, the guy Ashley cheated on me with, called up a month after Rebel was born and apologized to me for everything. I agreed to meet up with him for coffee, and found out that he was a decent guy. Call me crazy, but I forgave him. He became lead guitarist...but if he ever looks at MY Ashley in that way again...he's screwed. Then again, he's dating another friend of mine from the agency, Ella Cole. She should keep him in line. He's the awkwardly-placed middle brother.
As for Ashley and I, we're happily married. Living in a gorgeous house in LA (when we're not touring!) with now-two-and-a-half year old Rebel. He hasn't cheated, and has stayed faithful to our family. I love him so much... we're the brother's who are incest...
...ha, that still gets me everytime.